


Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me

by loki_of_jotunheim



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Crack, Gen, Multi, half serious and half crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 12,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25292314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki_of_jotunheim/pseuds/loki_of_jotunheim
Summary: Official summary: Alex's classmates notice things. They notice he's gone a lot. They notice he has injuries. Instead of ignoring it completely in Venice, one of them creates a Discord to try and figure it out with the rest of them. It snowballs and somehow they're now taking on an entire intelligence agency.The moral of the story: Free Alex and Fuck MI6.A Social Media AU turned into teenagers take on MI6. I have no idea how it happened.everyone knows everyone and im well aware this is ridiculous as heck and if the classmates were one character they would be VERY op. but it was fun to write :)Chapter notes have been added, edits have been made, and this should be good to go.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 127





	1. #brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th has been created

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So finally recovered from my writing stuff (i...have a thing. Some of you have heard of the thing.) and so I'm gonna add the notes I didn't get around earlier. 
> 
> So just to clarify - this is mid-Scorpia, it starts just before Alex and Tom ran off and blew things up. I figured that was sort of clear but I also wanted to clarify in case it wasn't. There are some things in future chapters that might seem like "continuity" errors, I'll be adding notes to the chapters I feel like in question are, but the main thing I'm thinking of right now is deliberate. 
> 
> Character names, aside from Colin, were randomly generated. Colin's last name was randomly generated. 
> 
> Anyways, that's for the first chapter! Enjoy!

**#brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th**

_Welcome to #brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th_

_This is the start of #brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th_

_Edit channel_

**James Hale:** okay hi everyone firstly do NOT ADD ALEX OR TOM TO THIS DISCORD

_Several people are typing…._

**Inaaya Rios:** uh why?

 **Agatha Noble:** yeah why?

 **James Hale:** because this is about Alex and you know if Tom found out Alex will find out. 

**Brody McDaniel:** why are we talking about the druggie? 

**Agatha Noble:** brody wtf that’s just rude

 **Brody McDaniel:** i mean we all know he’s a druggie. Esp after that thing with colin

 **Colin Warner:** what thing with me? 

**Body McDaniel:** the thing with the drug deal he saw. You’re so lucky the cops didn’t go after you.

 **Colin Warner:** yeah yeah

 **James Hale:** alright back to the original purpose. Is it just me or is Alex acting...weirder than normal

 **Kaira Rivas:** oh thank goodness i thought i was going crazy

13

 **Michael Emmery:** i mean he was quiet before but he at least talked to people but ever since his uncle died something’s been weird.

 **Brody McDanniel:** i thought we all figured it was grief or whatever

 **Shelbie Meza:** this is more though. i mean, when Aleena’s uncle died she was sad and everything but she didn’t start randomly disappearing from school all of a sudden and getting sick.

 **Brody McDanniel:** he starting using. It wouldn’t be a first for how someone started using drugs. 

**Colin Warner:** okay i dont really like talking about... it but actually no brody it’s not. This is something else.

 **James Hale:** i mean theres also that weird sub or whatever that just showed up and mysteriously vanished too?? What was up with that??

 **Kaira Rivas:** what does that have to do with Alex though?

 **James Hale:** idk but its just weird. Oh crap, gotta put my phone up the tour is starting and Grey is glaring at me


	2. day two

**#brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th**

**Agatha** : Okay so for simplicity's sake let’s just use our first names yeah?

What the fuck was the thing with the bag about? 

**James:** Sounds like a good idea. 

And yeah wtf. And speaking of the bag thing, anyone seen Alex since yesterday? 

**Inaaya:** Now that you mention it I haven’t. (edited)

 **Michael:** yeah i haven’t either

 **Shelbie:** same

 **Brody:** same

 **Kiara:** same

 **Jon-Paul Duke:** okay so yknow how my dad works with some people in the cabinet? 

_Several people are typing..._

**Luisa Rivers:** wait when did this happen 

**Pearl Donavan:** your dad works with people in the cabinet?? 

**Jon:** yeah he’s all hush hush about it but i’m about 90% sure he works with intelligence services or something.

ANYWAYS he was at the bank the other day and he mentioned seeing Alex outside the bank. 

Said Alex looked exhausted. 

**Pearl:** wasn’t ian rider a banker or something? 

**Agatha:** maybe it had to do with the will? Seems like a long time for that though

 **Kiara:** maybe. Doesn’t he still live with his housekeeper? 

**Brody:** idk, i think so. 

**Agatha:** ugh why are these tours happening at the worst times. Maybe we could meet up at the ice cream place for lunch? 

**Kiara:** Sounds good to me

 **Pearl:** same 

**Brody:** same

 **James:** I’ll be there

 **Lusia:** me too

 **Inaaya:** alright

 **Michael:** see you then

 **Shelbie:** same

 **Colin:** same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when characters all are saying the same thing - it's meant to sort of mimic everyone saying everything at once that happens in actual chats? at least the ones im in this happens lol. But yeah. Just wanted to clarify that. Also the (edited) is deliberate, assume spelling error :)


	3. meetup

“Okay so we can all agree none of us have seen Alex since yesterday right?” Agatha said quietly to the rest of the small group. Twelve of them had shown up in total, and they were crowded around a table clearly not meant for a group that size. Nods were the answer to that. “That’s weird.” 

“I asked my dad about like, his work.” Jon offered. “Last night. If it had to do anything with that weird thing with the Stormbreaker computers a while back.” 

“What do those have to do with any of this?” Brody, who no-one was quite sure why he was there, asked. 

“It was the first time he just upped and disappeared.” Jane Parkinson said. “I made a list of the ones I remember last night, I’ll put it in the discord later.” 

“Thanks.” James flashed her a quick smile. “Jon, what’d your dad say?” 

“He said he was there at the press conference.” Jon glanced around. “He said everyone hushed up what happened and that he couldn’t say exactly what, but he kind of implied that the guy who made them, Sail or something? Had gotten shot in the hand or something.” 

“Wait - how?” 

“Sniper?” Michael suggested. 

“Why a sniper?” Luisa asked, clearly dubious. 

“Who else? Everyone gets screened going into that kind of thing.” Michael shrugged. Everyone accepted that. 

“Sayle.” Pearl Donovan said, eyes glued to their phone. “Darrius Sayle. That was his name. He was a big name in computers, had some revolutionary tech or something. I was so excited for it, but it never released.” 

“Why?” Luisa asked again. 

“There wasn’t a really good answer, but everyone assumed some sort of major vulnerability.” Pearl shrugged. “That’s usually what happens when something just doesn’t release. Now that I think about it, I haven’t actually heard anything about that company in general for a while.” 

“And Alex disappeared around the same time as that weird conference,” Agatha added. “So definitely something to note.” 

“Maybe he tried to steal it?” Brody suggested half-heartedly. 

“No.” Colin shook his head. “If he was a thief he’d be better at it. Seriously, the dude is a black belt, and speaks like four languages.”

“He does?” Various confused looks headed were directed Colin's way. 

“Yeah. I paid way too much attention to what he was reading one month and like four of them were in different languages.” 

“Huh.” Jane jotted something down. Unfortunately, that was the last they could get, as it was time for another tour. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So personally, when I wrote this, I had Agatha headcannoned as trans, which isn't explicitly mentioned later, sorry, but I wanted to mention it anyways.


	4. tom disappears

**#brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th  
**

**James:** okay Tom has officially joined alex in the weirdness club

 **Agatha:** Alex disappearing like he did is expected but _Tom_ disappearing too is just odd. 

**Brody:** yeah even i have to admit this is more than just him being a druggie or a thief or something

 **Colin:** told you

 **Brody:** yeah yeah. 

**Jane:** wait why are there fireworks

 **Pearl:** Tom speaks italian now???

 **Jon:** wait Tom is speaking italian? 

**Inaaya:** it’s like the same two things over and over again but he’s running around near some palace, i was getting some souvenirs and he turned up. No sign of alex though. 

**James:** wait you speak italian?

 **Inaaya:** yeah it was one of my language credits. 

**Kiara:** what’s he saying? 

**Inaaya:** it sounds like “how are you” and “how long...to rome?” i can’t quite make it out entirely the fireworks are loud

 **Michael:** wait tom is at the same place as the fireworks? 

**Shelbie:** Toms the one setting them off

oh hey inaaya, i see you

[pic_1929.jpg] (alt text: a person is running around a square, holding a firework.)

 _Several people are typing_ …

 **James:** okay we’re all agreed we are **_not_ **mentioning this to the teachers? 

**Shelbie:** agreed

 **Inaaya:** agreed

 **Pearl:** agreed

 **Jon:** agreed

 **Jane:** agreed

 **Michael:** agreed

 **Agatha:** agreed

 **Collin:** agreed

 **Kiara:** agreed

 **Luisa:** agreed

 **Brody:** ...fine. Agreed


	5. on the way home

**#brookland-student-groupchat-minus-ar-and-th**

**James:** okay the fact alex hasn’t shown back up is worrying me

**Kiara:** i went and asked tom and he said he was going to meet with Alex after the trip or something

**Michael:** do the teachers know? 

**Shelbie:** i think so yeah

**Agatha:** tom knows something we dont 

**Inaaya:** well its not like we can ask him, that would kind of give it away 

**Collin:** agatha has a point though, he and alex have always been close. 

**Pearl:** well, it’s not like we can ask Tom, he’s about to get on the plane to go see his brother or something. I heard him mention he wasn’t going back home for a bit. 

**Kiara:** weird. That does leave him out as a source of information though. 

**Shelbie:** ugh we get interrupted at the worst times, we’ll have to finish this later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the "continuity" issue - in the books Tom takes a train. In this, they mention a plane. But no one actually asked Tom, so they all assume a plane anyways because they're teenagers. That was deliberate.


	6. street chase and being at the right place at the right time

**James:** okay you guys aren’t going to believe this look what i got on video

[vid_193.mp4] 

**Shelbie:** holy shit is that someone falling

 **Inaaya:** i think they’re on fire wtf 

**Collin:** isn’t someone else on it too? 

**Pearl:** that weird pile up a few days ago and now this?

 **Shelbie:** someone else thought the pile up was weird too i was going crazy

 **Pearl:** I WAS A STREET AWAY FROM THAT

HANG ON I GOT A VIDEO IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD

[vid_891.mp4]

 **Luisa:** i was nearby too wasn’t there some kid involved? 

**Michael:** that is...suspcicously crashy. Like. textbook crashy. But did anyone actually get hurt and who is the kid in the middle? 

**Brody:** how can a textbook be crashy

...i meant a crash be textbook ugh

 **Jon:** you can stage crashes. You’d need a lot of people trained in that thought. I had a hyperfixation on it once. 

**Michael:** has your dad said anything? 

**Jon:** ...now that you mention it he left really early today and hasn’t come back yet. He usually is back by now

 **James:** guys look at this

[vid_194.mp4]

That looks like a military drill or something. 

**Collin:** wait look at the balloon - is that alex?? 

_Several people are typing_ …

 **Pearl:** holy shit

 **Michael:** holy shit

 **Jon:** what the fuck

 **James:** fucking hell

 **Collin:** holy shit

 **Shelbie:** holy shit

 **Inaaya:** how the fuck

 **Brody:** what in the world

 **Luisa:** what the hell

 **Pearl:** what the fuck is alex doing in the middle of all that

 **Jon:** that’s SAS. 

**Colin:** and here i was thinking his uncle was a police officer or something. He must have been sas.

 **Jon:** nah, if he’d been sas he wouldn’t have been undercover as a banker, they’re allowed to say they’re military

 **Brody:** yeah my brother joined a few months ago, he was with j-unit or something (im allowed to say that much)

Now that i think about it

Apparently there was some kind of uproar when some kid got sent to training for a couple of weeks, straighten him out or something

 **Luisa:** wait j-unit? My brother was in k-unit, he’s a medic. He doesn't talk about it much though, not that i see him much anyways

 **Michael:** you think….you think maybe it was alex? 

**Inaaya:** the timing would fit. 

**Shelbie:** i mean, it could just be a small SAS soldier on that thing

 **Kiara:** how many small SAS soldiers are coincidently blonde? And wearing jeans and a jersey? 

And tennis shoes? 

**Shelbie:** yeah you have a point.

 **Inaaya:** why would alex be on the ballon though? In the middle of an SAS raid

 **Michael:** why is an SAS raid going on in the first place? 

**Jon:** my dad’s calling, i’ll let you guys know what i can

11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "how can a textbook be crashy" ....it turns out, when you're off your ADHD meds, you miss little things like that. it's SUPPOSED to be "how can a crash be textbook-y. i added a sentence to make fix it. 
> 
> also i also wrote both colin and john with them both being adhd in mind lol so yeah


	7. dont let the antivaxxers have a field day

**Jon:** okay so uhh im not...really explicitly allowed to say this but i wasn’t told not to say this but apparently everyones vaccinations had nanotech in them and they were supposed to be set off by a satellite dish

BUT THEY’RE NOT ACTIVE AND WE’RE FINE. They’re apparently going to just get filtered and have no effect bc the signal needed to activate them didn’t happen and isn’t going to happen.

DONT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS THOUGH I’m probably not supposed to say that but fuck security when this sort of shit happens. It wasnt gov’t done but someone took advantage of a weakness and had them all switched out. 

**Michael:** ...the antivaxers would have a field day with this so yeah it woud be a Very bad idea to say anything

 **Shelbie:** agreed

 **Inaaya:** agreed

 **Pearl:** agreed, noones hearing from me about this

 **Jon:** agreed

 **Michael:** agreed

 **Agatha:** agreed

 **Colin:** agreed

 **Kiara:** agreed

 **Brody:** Agreed

 **James:** Ageed 

**Pearl:** also i should have mentioned this earlier but bc you mentioned your dad being cabinet i kicked everyone who wasn’t talking and i added some extra security to the discord, just in case. 

**James:** Thanks pearl...uh, are you a hacker or something? 

**Pearl:** in my spare time yeah and i only do whitehat stuff. Don’t want to fuck up my career in the future. 

**James:** ok okay. Thanks

 **Pearl:** np :) anyways so dw about people reading stuff here. 


	8. operation alex rider's mental health is born

**Colin:** alex is back and he looks absolutely wrecked

 **James:** yeah he’s doing a decent job at trying to hide it but wtf. 

**Brody:** he has a burn on his hand. Nothing major but its def there. 

**Kiara:** so he was definitely on the balloon then.

 **Agatha:** yeah. Wtf happened. How the hell would he have gotten involved with something like that? Like that can’t be something he does willingly. 

**Michael:** maybe he did commit a crime or something and this is his like sentence or something?

 **Brody:** i can’t believe im the one saying this but i doubt its that. The sas training would have been more than enough. This is something else

 **Pearl:** i’ll see what i can find online. 

**James:** doesn’t that mean you’ll be doing illegal stuff? 

**Pearl:** for Alex I’ll do it. I’m good enough to at least avoid getting caught if I’m really, really careful.

 **James:** please be careful. We need our resident enby. 

**Pearl:**

**Inaaya:** so if he was there and now he’s back and exhausted...does it look like something just...bad happened to him? He looks like he’s just. Dead.

 **Shelbie:** he looks like he saw someone die...which. I guess he did. Or...damn, the dude falling. That’s gotta be killing him. 

**Colin:** hes gonna need some major therapy wtf. We might want to keep an eye out and make sure he’s not on the roof a lot or something. 

**Inaaya:** yeah….survivors guilt is hell. My brother...he fell off of a swingset the wrong way when i was like 10. My therapist has to keep reminding me its not my fault. 

**Pearl:** i’m so sorry ina. 

11 

**Inaaya:** it’s been getting better tho. but alex is gonna have a rough time of it

 **Brody:** maybe one of us should keep an eye on him for a bit? Discreetly obv don’t want to crowd him but.

 **Colin:** bet you didn’t think you’d say that a few weeks ago

 **Brody:** yeah i was being an ass. 

**James:** i mean, there’s 12 of us total, 13 if you count tom who i’m sure is anyways, we should be able to manage it

 **Agatha:** Operation: Alex Rider’s mental heath lmao

 **Kiara:** mi5 won’t know what hit them 

But yeah lets try and keep a distance about it but yeah it worries me too. You all’ve heard my rants about mental health and stuff before

11

 **James:** Alright then. Operation: ARMH (the h will be silent) is a go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So post writing this I realized i could have done ARMS - Alex Rider's Mental STATE. Oops. It's staying ARMh.


	9. fuck mi6 is born

**Pearl: _@OperationARMH_** guys. Guys. you need to see this but DO NOT SHARE THESE. DO NOT MENTION THESE. 

[jfdkasjfkdasf.pdf]

[art.pdf]

[researchsources.pdf]

[fwie91030.pdf]

 **Jon:** what the fuck holy fucking shit

 **Pearl:** you’ve read them already?

 **Jon:** no, i saw some of these papers on my dads desk a few months ago. He’d been meeting with some dude named blunt or something weird

 **Inaaya:** pearl, these are mi6 documents. 

**Pearl:** i know

I checked the discord security again and 

and sorry yeah ya’ll can’t download these 

**Inaaya:** pearl. This is technically treason. 

**Pearl:** ...so? 

**Inaaya:** ...i mean im not objecting to the whole committing treason thing bc if anything demands it its this but Please for my sanity _Do not get caught_.

 **Pearl:** don’t worry i was very, careful and if they had they’d have sent someone by now. I got this yesterday. 

**Inaaya:** that shouldn’t be reassuring but it is. 

**James:** what the FUCK they BLACKMAILED HIM

“Reminded him of the status of his guardianship” NO YOU BLACKMAILED A 14 YEAR OLD SO HE DIDN’T LOSE THE ONE PERSON HE HAD LEFT

 **Brody:** h o l y shit. 

I’m just. 

I’m not gonna say anything i just.. Need to process this. 

Fucking hell. I thought he was a drug addict. And i fucking - fucking hell. Fuck.

_Brody is offline_

**Collin:** Brody, no its - dammit. Hang on. I’m gonna go to his house. I live like 3 doors down. He’s having a rough time of it right now in general, please don’t ask.

_Collin is offline_

**Inaaya:** hey im at the royal and general right now. Its on my way home. 

**Pearl:** dont fucking go in dont go in

 **Luisa:** DON’T GO IN

 **Jane:** DON’T GO IN

 **Shelbie:** DON’T GO IN

 **Michael:** DON’T GO IN

 **Agatha:** DON’T GO IN

 **Kiara:** I think they get the point lol

 **Inaaya:** oh yeah sorry! Yeah no im not going in fuck no they’d probably have me disappear. 

Oh hey, there’s Alex 

Fuck he looks ...what the hell did they tell him???

WHAT THE FUCK

_Inaaya is offline_

**Michael:** Inaaya? 

**Jane:** Innaya?!

 **Shelbie:** Inaaya? 

**Pearl:** Ina? 

Ina?

Ina, baby?

Ina?! 

_Pearl is offline_

**James:** alright everyone it might be a good idea to fucking meet up or something come to my house my parents are out for the week. 

**MIchael:** on my way

 **Jane:** same, mind if i stay a day or two my parents are fighting 

**Shelbie:** omw

 **Agatha:** heading there now

 **James:** i dont mind Jane, stay as long as you need my parents wouldn’t care if they were home 

**Luisa:** heading out now

 **Kiara:** leaving now too, be there in 10. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There do be at least one intended OT3 in this fic - see if you can find it by the end lol.


	10. the sniper

James locked the doors and put up some security measures his family usually didn’t bother with anymore that had been gathering dust when the last of them had arrived. It wouldn’t do much but it might give them time to scramble anyways. 

“I swept for bugs before ya’ll got here but there weren’t any so we can talk.” He said to the expectant group. “My dad...he’s a former mercenary. When I was born they were worried some people might take revenge and I grew up learning some of this stuff. Never needed it until now.” 

“Alex is a fucking spy.” Agatha sank down onto the couch, running a hand through her hair. “He’s been forced into being a spy since he was 14. Holy shit.” 

“How could they do what they did?” Luisa added from his position on a chair, cross-legged. “Like...not just legally but morally? How do you use a kid and fuck him up to the point where he thinks  _ terrorists  _ are a better option?” 

“MI6 apparently managed it.” Jane muttered, arms wrapped around her legs. “We’re not gonna be able to do anything about it. We’re kids.” 

“We’ll. Fuck. I don’t know.” James paced . “Pearl has to know some people right? Who can leak stuff? Enough to where they can’t cover it up?”

“What happened to them? Has anyone heard from them?” Jon glanced at the others. “Did Inaaya get snatched or something?” 

“I fucking hope not.” James said soberly. 

“There’s a new message!” Kiara, who had been anxiously watching their phone, announced. Everyone crowded around them. “Holy - fuck. Apparently Alex got shot by a sniper as he left. Inaaya and Pearl are on their way here now. They gave their statements and booked it.”

“Alex got sniped?” Michael looked ill. “MI6 or this Scorpia or someone fucking sniped him? Is he even alive?” 

“Apparently he was alive when the ambulance arrived.” Kiara answered. “Inaaya and Pearl will be here soon though. Brody and Collin still aren’t online…”

“This night has just turned into a mess.” Michael said heavily. “But Alex needs us.” 

“Yeah.” Kiara said. The other teens murmured agreement. 

Innaaya and Pearl arrived shortly after, and Kiara rushed over at the sight of blood on Inaaya’s shirt. 

“It’s not mine - it’s Alex’s.” Inaaya said quickly, wide-eyed and shaking. 

“I bought some clothes.” Jane said right as Kiara said the same thing. They glanced at each other in silent agreement. “Let’s find you something comfortable.” 

The four vanished upstairs, leaving the rest of the teens to sit in horrified silence. 


	11. calm before the storm

“The worst thing about it was he smiled.” Inaaya finally whispered after Pearl had told the rest. “He wasn’t scared about it. He wasn’t screaming.” 

“We’re getting him out.” Pearl said, fury and shock still bleeding out through their body. They ran a comforting hand over Innaya. “We’re fucking getting him out.” 

Kaira sat on the other side of Inaaya and gently brought them into a comforting hug. “He’s alive.” They whispered quietly. “Pearl checked the hospital records. He’s alive and stable. I know you can’t stop seeing it. It’s okay.” 

“MI6 fucked up big time.” Michael said darkly. “They can’t cover up something like that happening in broad daylight.” 

“They’re trying.” Pearl had started typing furiously on their laptop. “I’m letting them...for now. I’m documenting every fucking second. They try and blackmail Alex again I’m raining digital and possibly physical hellfire down on them.” 

“I know how to get my hands on some missiles.” James added. Everyone stared at him. “I told you my dad was a former merc. He still knows people. And if they don’t have them, they know people who will.” 

“Good to know.” Pearl said coldly. They typed one last thing, smiled viciously and then turned back to Inaaya, the hard fury fading into a soft warmth. “Inaaya. Hey. Eyes on me. Hey.” 

“Hey.” Inaaya whispered, and threw themselves around Pearl and started sobbing. 

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Brody:** hey guys im okay.

Not that i’ve mentioned this much but im...kinda depressed and sometimes i have bad moments and it kinda hit. Not that it excuses what ive said in the past at all i wasn’t being nice and there’s not a good excuse but thats why i went quiet. Collin came to check on me. 

**Colin:** yea we stayed at his house overnight. If we come over to your house james today is that alright? 

**James:** fuck yeah thats alright we were so worried im so glad your okay

And i get it man ive had some really bad moments in the past but. 

Yeah i just. I get it. 

1

 **Michael:** hey dont apologize for taking care of yourself. This has been a fucking nightmare and none of us are gonna judge you for anything rn. Seriously. We’ll see u at the house we’re so glad you’re okay


	12. they could care less as long as someone'll bleed

“Alright. Who do we know? What connections do we have?” James said, after the group had reconvened in the morning. Brody and Colin had arrived shortly before they’d all gatherer around the table. 

Inaaya looked better after a night's sleep and a hard determination and anger had replaced the shock of the night before.

“Pearl has hacker connections, obviously.” James continued. “I know mercenary people. Jon, your dad is in government?”

“I don’t know how much I’ll be able to use that. If I start asking too many questions, he’ll get suspicious.” Jon warned. “I’ll see what I can get though.” 

“I know some active-duty SAS people. I can see if I can find anything out from the guy I knew from J-unit.” Brody added. 

“I’ll see if I can get anything from my brother. At the very least, drop some hints if I have to, let him follow the trail. The only reason I know about him being in K-Unit is because when he got home the first time I overheard him ranting on the phone about some -” Luisa cursed. “Fucking hell. A 14-year-old. He was pissed that he was there. He’s gonna be even more pissed when he realizes the same kid was blackmailed.” 

“Alex.” James said quietly. “Good. If we can get even a single SAS team on our side, we have a huge advantage if we need it. But that’ll be a last resort/if we need to let them know we know.” 

“So we have a possible SAS team, hacker, government and mercenary/weapons. Anyone else?” 

“I’m extremely good at pickpocketing.” Jane said quietly. She held up everyone’s phones with a sheepish grin. “Just to show you. I’m about 90% sure my mom was a grifter, she taught me a lot. I think you’d call it social engineering.” She added to Pearl. 

“That’s...an amazing skill.” James breathed. 

“I’ll teach all of you. And I’ll see if I can get in contact with some people who might be willing to do less legal things we might need done.” 

“Inaaya and I are both trained in different martial arts. We’re decent enough to pose a problem.” Kiara added. “I’m also good at shooting a gun if we need a sniper. Enough to where I considered trying out for the SAS when I was older, till I learned they didn’t take - well. Girls. I’m not a girl, but they wouldn’t care about the whole nonbinary thing.” 

“They take afab people now.” James informed them. “Also trans people. They updated their policies this year.” 

“Good to know.” Kiara nodded.

“How good are you?” Michael asked curiously. 

“...there’s a big patch of land my family owns a few hours away. We’ve got some guns there and there’s a cabin with enough rooms for all of us. Anyone up for shooting at some targets during the weekend?” 

“I’ll drive.” Agatha spoke up. She’d been taking notes. 

“Cool.” Kiara grinned.

“We have a break this week.” James pointed out. 

“Week long training...thing?” Kiara suggested. There were nods of agreement. “Let’s do this, then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So edits made - changed the title to the actual lyric and also yes the characters all just know people they have plot armor. Alex needs allies alright and I'mma GIVE them to him.


	13. #resources-and-documents

**#resources-and-documents**

_Welcome to #resources-and-documents_

_This is the start of #resources-and-documents_

_Edit channel_

**Pearl:** okay so im just adding this for convenience 

But here’s all the stuff i found and some stuff for this upcoming week when we’re not working on stuff. I’ll refer to the weird ones by their capital letters so memorize them. 

[jFdkasjfkdasf.pdf]

[art.pdf]

[researchsources.pdf]

[fWie91030.pdf]

[training.pdf]

[communes.pdf]

[layoutofthings.png]

[afDsfe2124.pdf]

[djfKaleiwoerw.pdf]

Here’s some crash courses on Italian since we all have some level of exposure to it and it meshes well with the ones we already know

[italian.pdf]

[crashcourseitalian.pdf]

[competencyin60days.pdf]

[duolingoitalianfull.pdf]

[duolingoitalianfull.zip]

[audioitalianforhearing.zip]

[hearingitaly.zip]

Here’s some cybersecurity stuff for the new phones. PLEASE READ THESE esp the first one i tried to simplify it as much as possible but it’ll really help us keep this quiet longer

[cybersecuritytipsheetbyhackthepearl.pdf]

[cybersecresourcesbyhackthepearl.pdf]

[evadingdetectiononline.pdf]

[obfuscationinfo.pdf]

[mastersheet.pdf]

Here’s some general spy-like shit i found too. 

[spymastersheet.pdf]

[detectingsurvalience.pdf]

[findingbugs.pdf]

[evadingatail.pdf]

[doiningdisguises.pdf]

I’ll add more as I find them. 


	14. it begins - gun safety

“So before we even start shooting, I’m going to drill in your head a few things. The rules of firearms and in general weapon safety, how to disassemble and reassemble them, and how to shoot, in short. There’s gonna be more but that’s where we’ll start.” Kiara, standing in front of a table as the other teens gathered around them, gestured at the gun on the table.

“Out of curiosity, why do you have these?” Brody said, staring uncomfortably at the guns on the table. 

“So y’know how we moved from America when I was younger? Well, we owned them then. My dad went through the proper licensing for these - this one looks a lot scarier than it is. It’s a .22, it’s meant for small game. So like squirrels, rabbits, that kind of thing. It can kill people, obviously, but it’s one of the less powerful guns. Which means the recoil isn’t as bad. That’s why we’re starting with this one.” 

“I didn’t know you could get a riffle like that here.” Colin said. “Legally.” 

“Oh yeah, you can. There’s a lot of paperwork and there’s a bunch of checks to make sure you’re not gonna become a mass shooter, but my dad passed all of them so he’s able to own them as long as he follows the laws and stuff. But anyways. Let’s start with the rules of gun safety.” Kiara paused and straightened. “Number 1 - always treat a gun as if it’s loaded. Always. Even if you’re 99.99999% sure it’s not. Assume it’s loaded and act accordingly.” 

“Prevents accidents?” Jane asked. Kiara nodded. 

“Yep. Second - Never point the gun in a direction of something you’re not willing to destroy or kill. Notice how all of these are downrange?” Kiara gestured to the guns. “If that gun is pointed at something, make sure you want it there.” The teens nodded, committing the rules to memory. “Thirdly - do not put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to fire. Like, until you’re ready. If you’re not about to shoot, that finger is off the trigger. There’s also the safety, which is the same thing. That safety is on until you are about to shoot. Got it so far?” 

“Some pretty intense rules.” Shelbie said. “They make sense though.” 

“If you’re a responsible gun owner, you know these and follow them. Guns are a tool - albeit one with the sole purpose of being deadly - so you have to learn how to use them properly. Alright. Fourth rule - be sure of your target and what’s behind it. If there were someone standing behind that target and you didn’t notice them, and you shot - it would injure if not kill them even with the lower power of the .22. So make sure you know what’s there.” 

“Guns are always loaded, never aim at something you’re not gonna destroy, finger off the trigger and safety off until you’re about to shoot, and make sure you know what’s at and behind the thing you’re shooting at.” Luisa recited. Kiara nodded and had the rest repeat it until they knew it by heart. 

Then it was time to learn how to disassemble and reassemble them. That took the rest of the afternoon but by the end of it, the teens were tired and ready to take a break. Kiara stored the guns safely away as the rest of the group convened in the dining room for some quick dinner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I learned a lot about British gun laws when writing this.


	15. family dinner

**#general-not-operation-related**

_Welcome to #general-not-operation-related_

_This is the start of #general-not-operation-related_

_Edit channel_

**Pearl:** ngl that dinner was the most familial i’ve had in a while

**Kiara:** ikr my parents never eat with us anymore and we’re always angry when we do

**Jane:** same it usually ends in them fighting at my house

**Brody:** damn im sorry you guys. Our family dinners usually go decently, it sucks you havent gotten that

**Collin:** even when i was dealing with the whole drugs thing my family still had decent dinners. I think my mom almost cried at some of those but they were friendly anyways

**Inaaya:** maybe we should make it a thing after this is all over to meet up for dinner at least once a week or something.

**Jon:** yeah that sounds like a good idea. My dad’s barely home so it can get kinda lonely sometimes

**Michael:** wait is your mom not around? 

I mean if you don’t wanna answer you don’t have to we’re not gonna press

My mom’s shitty and my dad’s not much better so.

**Jon:** no its okay i set my phone down for a sec lol

Nah she bailed when i was younger, said she couldn’t handle my dad’s work schedule or something. But she ended up being an ass anyways, i met her once and im very glad she wasn’t around when i was home

**Luisa:** damn you guys im sorry. My family was actually pretty decent, wish yall had been able to get that. Family dinner weekly sounds like a good idea

**Brody:** family dinners it is :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> totally not using fanfic to deal with my own issues why would you suspect that *laughs nervously*
> 
> okay but in all seriousness, most of my friend groups have a decent chunk of us with issues like this and tbh it be harder to believe that none of them don't have issues.


	16. contacting the family

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Luisa:** so i’m about to call my brother

I’ll let you know what i hear back 

**James:** be careful

**Luisa:** i will dw :)

_**Pearl** \--> **Innaya** _

**Pearl:** ngl im surprised our group hasn’t fought yet or anything

**Inaaya:** tbh me too? But i think we know when to back off too? And we’ve spent time together before on trips and stuff already, so our weird habits aren’t new

**Peal:** true true.

You doing okay? With your sperm donors being as horrible as they are and everything? 

**Inaaya:** i mean. Im not exactly great? 

But i’m surviving

I was expecting a reaction like that tbh 

i figured me coming out and getting disowned was an inevitability

I’m kinda just glad the waiting on it is over. 

**Pearl:** yknow you can stay with me or Kiara right? Like if you need to house hop or whatever we’ve got you

**Inaaya:** ik, and i love you both. 

**Pearl:**

**Inaaya:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had originally written a scene that explained the dm conversation but i forgot about writing it but inaaya's parents didn't react well to their coming out.


	17. phone call yeet

“Hey, Luca, it’s Luisa. How’s it been?” Luisa said. He laughed. “Yeah, yeah, i heard about it. It was kinda crazy downtown for a bit. Were you there?” Luisa paused. “No joke? Damn….how much can you tell me?” There was silence on Luisa’s end for a good few moments. “That’s...wow. Yeah, no, I won’t mention that last part. I think the antivaxers would have too much of a field day. So how’ve you been other than that?” 

After a good bit more of the two just chatting, and Luisa occasionally sliding in a related question or two, Lusia hung up with an elated smile. Jane had taught them all well. 

  
  


**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Luisa:** okay so k-unit was there

And he confirmed the vaccinations thing (but i never told you that)

And that there was some lady crushed by a satellite and the dude that fell was a scorpia assassin or something? Apparently he’d climbed up to stop alex on the thing and alex knocked him off

Not that he said it was alex, but yknow, we know it was

Anyways he said that his unit had gone with alex to somewhere in france? A private school or something and they thought it would be the only time they saw him again

Apparently their unit leader, wolf, got shot on that one

He almost said something about a snowmobile??? Not sure what that was about

But yeah alex was definitely there and they all are pretty pissed a kid’s being pushed into this

He also said they were pretty surprised to learn that the kid was still involved. They apparently kind of made his life hell during training

Anyways yeah basically we might be able to get them on our side if it came down to it. 

**Pearl:** alex has been involved in the death of two people at least...damn. I feel so bad for him

Like clearly it’s self defense

But its still gotta be hell to see that happen

 **Inaaya:** no wonder he was okay with dying. Damn.

 **Pearl:** oh yeah speaking of that 

Last night there was some weirdness at the hospital

I have a filter set up on the feeds

He decided it was a good idea to fight some armed people who came into the hospital

 **Michael:** ...what

 **Brody:** seconding that

 **Pearl:** yeah i’ll put the footage in but i dont think he was the target? 

[fight.mp4]

Cause he switched out a sign and they went for the name that wasn’t his

 **Shelbie:** guilt complex

 **Pearl:** but he is officially missing from the hospital, i’m still working on tracking the car they took him from. I lost him just outside some old construction things. 

**James:** how illegal is that…

 **Pearl:** oh i’m firmly in blackhat territory now. But this is for Alex.

Tbh i don’t have too much moral issues w/ going blackhat i just didn’t want to screw up getting a job

That’s so far behind this now tho so

 **James:** don’t get arrested pearl we like you

 **Pearl:** i wont :)

 **Michael:** the fact Alex has been kidnapped is bad news

 **Shelbie:** yeah but...we can’t do much here, besides try and find him. Training and stuff is the best we can do for him

Speaking of isn’t today like fighting and stuff

 **Inaaya:** oh yeah that’s me! You guys are gonna be so sore.

 **Colin:** that sounds so exciting…

 **Inaaya:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i watch this show called leverage and it has Taught me things about how to get information from people if need be. Such as disguising what you really want by putting it in the middle of other things. The example I saw had the person "overloaded with angry" before they mentioned the actual goal but I used it here. Later on, another tactic is mentioned and that's also from Leverage.


	18. goals and a suspicous snake

“When you said sore, you meant sore.” James groaned, laying on the floor with the rest of the group. “And we get to do this again tomorrow.” 

“Every day until we do...whatever it is we’re going to do, yep.” Inaaya added cheerfully. They were the only one not exhausted but they were used to that. 

“Is our only solid goal take on MI6?” James asked. “We should figure out the how.” 

“Well, I have an entire plan of leaks ready to go if we need it.” Pearl put in. “If we need to blow them wide open, we can. It won’t cause any national security issues, I’ve made sure of that, but it’ll remove Blunt and Jones and get Alex out. It also means I’d probably have to start an entirely new online identity, so…” 

“Last resort, yeah.” James agreed. “So…we need to use the leverage in such a way that their only option is leave Alex the fuck alone unless he wants in.” 

“Free Jack.” Agatha added in. “Remember how they have her visa status held?” 

“Free Jack.” James agreed.

“Any chance we could get Alex paid for everything he’s had happen so far?” Shelbie wondered. 

“I’ll add it to the list.” James promised. “Jon, you have any ideas?” 

“Thinking about it.” Jon said. “Politically, my dad might side with MI6 on this. But if we can quietly turn enough parliament members against them, we might be able to stage a quiet coup. Smaller leaks, or just passing along the information.” 

“We could just pay Scorpia to take Blunt out.” Collins suggested. 11 heads popped up to stare at him. 

“With who’s money?” Jane said incredulously. 

“I was joking.” He clarified. “Sorry, that tone did  _ not _ work like I intended.” 

“Oh.” the heads went back down. 

“How much would something like that cost, anyways?” Jane wondered. 

“Probably millions of pounds.” James answered. “If my dad’s former income was any indication. He made a  _ lot _ .”

“We definitely couldn’t afford it then.” Jane said. 

“Yeah, definitely not.” James agreed. “So we have the goal of free Alex, free Jack, and blackmail MI6 into letting him be. It’s a start.” 

Snake frowned as the phone call came back into his mind. Something was bothering him about it. What was it? 

Luisa usually asked about missions. He couldn’t tell him most of the time. That wasn’t weird. 

It came to him an a flash.

Luisa hadn’t sounded surprised about what he’d heard. Snake could almost chalk it up to having been nearby but it was more than that. 

His little brother knew more than he was telling on. And if Alex was also involved...

Snake figured it was a good time to pay his brother a visit. He shot off a text and started packing for a few days. 


	19. For Alex

**#general-not-operations-related**

**Luisa:** so my brother wants to visit

Should we let him come here

**James:** ...sure. We’ll need to be really careful until we know where he stands but

Yeah

**Luisa:** alright i’ll let him know

“Who got hurt this badly?” Luca called from the room with all their laundry at the moment. “And when?” 

The teens exchanged a look of sheer panic. 

“No-one?” Luisa called back hopefully. 

“That’s hilarious.” Luca appeared in front of the group. “Seriously. If anyone still has an injury I want to check it. This is is a lot of blood.” 

“It is, but really wasn’t any of us.” Luisa promised. 

“Did you kill someone?” Luca asked. 

“No!” 12 people exclaimed in response. 

“Alright, alright.” Luca held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “I want an explanation for this though.” 

“...You can’t tell anyone.” Luisa said, suddenly serious. “Not even your bosses. Definitely not MI5 or MI6 or anyone in intelligence.” 

“...I get the feeling I should.” Luca said with a raised eyebrow. Luisa refused to budge. “Alright, alright. I promise I won’t. Seriously.” He added. Luisa examined him a moment longer and nodded. 

Luca almost missed the almost imperceptible signal from one of the girls (Jane?) before Luisa nodded. What had they gotten themselves into?

“Pearl, you want to do the honors?” James, a different teenager (and the leader, Luca realized) asked. Pearl nodded, their purple hair bouncing briefly. 

“With pleasure.” They stood up and turned on the projector Snake had noticed earlier. “Alright. So...what you’re about to see was obtained just on this side of legal. But I’d appreciate you not mentioning anything anyways. You’ll understand why when I’m done.” 

What on earth had these teens gotten themselves into? 

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Luisa:** alright he’s officially on our side. The last time i saw him this angry he punched the officer that came to our house

One of his teammates had been outed by the dude and Luca was furious with the officer for trying to use that against him

**James:** damn

Well, at least we have him

**Luisa:** if we have him we have his unit. They’re a family of their own and if one of them is this mad you can guarantee the rest of them are gonna be just as pissed

**James:** well im glad to hear that. 

That gives us a bit more freedom to work with too

We probably can get more info this way too

**Pearl:** oh yeah. He’ll have codes and stuff i can use or at least know of things my stuff can’t find or missed

**Inaaya:** we’re actually doing this 

Like i knew we were but its just kinda real

For alex.

**Pearl:** for alex. 

**James:** For alex.

**Jon:** for alex

**Brody:** for alex

**Collin:** for alex

**Agatha:** for alex

**Shelbie:** for alex

**Luisa:** for alex

**Kiara:** for alex!

**James:** for Alex.

**Michael:** For Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this is when For Alex became their motto lol


	20. BOMBS AWAY

“Hey, Wolf.” Snake said. “We have the week off, right? I need you to come meet me somewhere. This falls under “shit has hit the fan”.” 

“Off the books and off the record, then.” Wolf said. 

“Yeah.” Snake confirmed. “Bring the whole unit.” 

“This is  _ really _ “shit hit the fan”, isn’t it.” Wolf said gravely. “Alright. I’ll bring them. This doesn’t have to do with Alex, does it?” 

“I hate to say it, but it does. But if it goes right, it helps him.” Snake glanced at the group watching the phone call with nervous and excited eyes. It was like having a dozen owls watching you. 

“We’ll be there. Pack the usual for this kind of thing?”

“Oh yeah.” Snake paused and a tiny grin appeared. “...pack the grenade launcher too.” 

**#operation-Alex-Rider-s-mental-health**

**Brody:** A FUCKING GRENADE LAUNCHER 

**Colin:** IKR THIS IS CRAZY

**Pearl:** _ g r e n a d e l a u n c h e r _

11 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why NOT have a grenade launcher?


	21. I could absolutely get fired for this but behold the barren field in which i grow my fucks - Fox

James stared at the bruise forming on Wolf’s cheek. 

“I still can’t believe I managed to hit you.” He said, for the thousandth time. Wolf looked just as amused as he had the first. 

“You’re doin’ good, kid.” He said. The other 15 people at the table gave various measures of agreement. “All of you are. Alex would be proud of you.” 

“He would.” Fox, who had been furious about MI6 lying to him, had arrived a day ago and had taught them things he could  _ absolutely _ get fired for. 

He didn’t regret it one bit.

MI6 was going to regret ever letting him or the K-Unit near Alex. The teens had become extremely competent over the span of the past week. School was starting up again but they’d all agreed to come back here after each day. They’d be staying here for the foreseeable future. 

“Operation: Alex’s Mental Health” or ARM had been refined and solidified into an actual set of steps. There were at least 4 official contingencies. 

Firstly, they needed a meeting with Blunt and Jones. 

In that meeting, they needed to get them admitting on tape that they a) knew Alex, b) had sent him on at least one mission and c) hadn’t paid him or anything.

That was Fox’s part. He’d already been poking around at the whole situation before, this would just seem like more of it.

If they could, they’d use it against MI6 - make them think they’d reassured Fox, kept him being the good little intelligence agent. Fox had smiled at that idea and the teens had all shuddered. 

Secondly, they needed to contact the Prime minister, several sympathetic members of the cabinet, and the COBRA members as well. They’d get their agreement to the terms and then send them instructions, and then the information 

At the same time, they would quietly get Jack’s citizenship firmly established in the UK and with the rest of the EU. Regardless of the other events, Jack was getting free and there would be nothing MI6 could do. They’d make sure of it.

Then, they’d sit back and wait. Fox would keep them informed on MI6’s dealings. He’d play innocent, and they had a scapegoat for the bug (it had been planted, etc). 

“Another person who’d probably like to help is a guy by the name of Smithers.” Fox interjected at one meeting thoughtfully. “He’s never been a fan of the limits they’ve put on the thing’s he’s made Alex. I could probably convince him to join us.” 

“If you can, do it.” James said. “If it’s going to be too much of a risk, we can work with it anyways.” 

Wolf had been impressed by the change he’d seen in James. The kid had already been a natural leader, but he’d really stepped up during the time they’d spent together. 

Fox agreed and then it was set. The contingencies were ready. The plan had been formed and run through a dozen times. The teens had gotten used to guns and fighting to where you couldn’t tell they hadn’t been trained just a few weeks earlier. 

If MI6 had raided the property, the teens would have not been an easy challenge. Kiara would hae been a shoe in for a sniper in the SAS. Wolf made a note to put a good word in for them if they ever did join up. 

Dinner ended and the teens headed to bed, excitement and nervousness and anticipation thrumming. 

Operation: ARMH was a go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mi6: *gets a 14 year old as a spy, blackmails them and traumtizes them and then shows lots of people who are basically a well armed family this kid and lies to them about him and his issues*   
> k-unit/yassen/whoever else: *finds out about the fuckery and gets upset and turns against mi6 because WTF*  
> mi6: *surprised Pikachu face*


	22. GO TO SLEEP KIDS

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Jane:** Ben’s face when he mentioned playing mi6 like that - i am so glad i’m not anyone in mi6 right now

 **Luisa:** same tho 

I’ve also never seen luca this focused and its scary but also impressive as fuck

 **Colin:** i am so glad they’re on our side

 **James:** holy shit guys we’re actually gonna do this

 **Michael:** yeah im so fucking nervous but im not...scared 

We’ve been training for almost a month now, we have backup plans

 **Pearl:** we have the k-unit now too

We cant get cocky now though that’ll fuck things up majorly

 **Inaaya:** oh yeah def not. We’re gonna have to be just as careful as we’ve been

 **Jon:** we’re teens about to take on mi6 this is insane

 **Brody:** but we’re ready for it

That’s crazy

 **Agatha:** oh yeah its crazy but...damn. 

I'm so proud of yall

 **Kiara:** same you guys have been amazing

 **Shelbie:** same im glad we decided to do this

 **Pearl:** want me to add the k-unit into the discord? 

**James:** yeah lets do that then

_Wolf has joined_

_Snake has joined_

_Fox (Ben) has joined_

_Eagle has joined._

**James:** hi guys this is the discord

 **Pearl:** its not actually discord, its another thing entirely from how i’ve modified it, i just use their storage space at this point tbh

Its secure though

 **Wolf:** you guys really have been planning this for a while havn’t you dang.

 **Ben:** holy shit alex - fuck i want to hug him right now

 **Jane:** did you just watch the video from the chapel?

 **Colin:** pretty much all of us reacted the same way

 **Kiara:** oof, its like...late we probably should sleep.

 **Wolf:** Kiara’s right, go to sleep

 **James:** Yeah go to sleep guys we need to be rested

 **Pearl:** and you were worried you’d be bad at leading James you and wolf think alike

Going to sleep now

_Pearl is offline_

_James is offline_

_Jane is offline_

_Kiara is offline_

_Innaaya is offline_

_...._


	23. fuck mi6 and operation free jack

“Hello, Ben. Let’s finish the debrief, shall we?” Mrs. Jones gave Ben a pleasant smile. He nodded, not giving away any signs he knew something he shouldn’t. “So after the satellite fell, what happened next?” 

“Well,” Ben began, and he told them what happened, and interjected subtle suggestions that would hopefully get her to tell him things she wouldn’t if he’d just asked. 

Jane had been wonderful for resources like that. Neurolinguistic programing was _fun_. 

The recording appeared in the discord shortly after Ben had left, with one word: success. Pearl set about backing it up several different places and when they’d sat back the room had exploded with cheers of relief and excitement. 

Step one was done. Now onto step 2. 

Jack got a phone call in the middle of preparing lunch. 

“Hello?” She said. 

“Hi, this is Jack Starbright, right?” The voice, what sounded like a teenager, asked. 

“Yes, who is this?” 

“Friend of Alex, and by that, I do mean friend. Do me a favor and check your email?” 

“Is Alex alright?” Jack demanded. 

“Yes, he’s fine.” The voice said. 

“Alright...wait, what’s this….” Jack trailed off reading the new email. “What - is this a trick?” 

“We’re not MI6.” The voice snorted on the other end. “So, no. This is free of strings or anything. Just...don’t mention it quite yet?” 

“How?” Jack sat down heavily. 

“We know a lot of people.” The person said, amused. “But we’ll let you know when it’s safe to say anything. It’ll be within the next couple of weeks, if everything goes according to plan.” 

“Thank you.” Jack said, barely restraining the tears. “Thank you. For Alex’s sake too.” 

“For Alex.” The voice agreed, and then the call ended. 

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Pearl:** Jack is free. 

15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you, leverage, for teaching me about neurolinguistic programming. I was *THRILLED* when it showed up in Never Say Die.


	24. gadget master

Smithers glanced up at the visitor and smiled. He’d wondered when the man would pay him a visit. He held up a hand and turned on the device that would remove prying ears for the time. 

“Mr. Daniels! It’s a pleasure.” Smithers greeted. “I’ve been wondering when you’d stop by.” 

“I figured now was as good a time as any.” Ben shrugged, glancing around. “Any chance we could talk somewhere privately?”

“About young Alex?” Smithers said knowingly. “I know a place.” 

“I hope you’ve come with a plan on how we’re getting him out.” Smithers said without preamble as they sat in a crowded mall. 

“How’d you guess?” Ben asked, suspicion clear. 

“Because if you hadn’t, I was going to myself.” Smithers told him bluntly. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the sniper.” 

“He was so lucky.” Ben shook his head. 

“Indeed. I’ve been getting plans laid on my end. I was about to get Mrs. Starbright straightened out, but it seems someone else beat me to it.” 

“Pearl.” Ben murmured. “So you’ll help us?” 

“Yes.” Smithers agreed. 

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental health**

_Derek S. has joined_

**Derek:** Hello! 

**Pearl:** Smithers? Hi!

 **James:** ohmygoshareyoutheguywhomakesalex’sstuff

 **Derek:** I am, yes!

 **Jane:** okay how did you design the metal burning stuff that was badass

11

 **Derek:** i’m glad you think so...although I’m curious about how you found out about it. 

**Pearl:** check **#resources-and-documents**

 **Smithers:** I see why you’ve been so careful with who knows about this. Good job!

 **James:** ohmygoshdidhejusttellusgoodjob

 **Wolf:** you kids and your absolute astonishment at being told good job

 **Eagle:** do i need to remind you of the time the corporal gave you the day off on that course?

 **Wolf:** NO no it’s good its not a bad thing just nice 

**Eagle:**

**Smithers:** your plan is well made...would you mind if I add some things?

 **James:** feel free we appreciate any and all help

11


	25. the spy notices the spying (well he notices SOMETHING)

When Alex returned to school after the kidnapping, something had changed. Tom had noticed too, and he was staring at a group of kids suspiciously. 

“Why do I feel like something weird is up?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know but I’m getting the same feeling.” Alex replied. 

They continued staring.

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**James:** alex has been staring at us all day this is bordering on creepy now

 **Jane:** maybe we should just...tell him? 

**Pearl:** mi6 has his phone tapped, tom’s too. 

**Kiara:** so that’s out then.

We just need to not panic.

 **Colin:** yeah right now we can just explain it as like the trip or whatever, we got close, etc

Theres no reason for them to suspect anything 

5

 **Brody:** hows the other stuff coming along? 

**Inaaya:** k-unit’s getting calls made today and smithers is setting up his side of the evidence too

 **Jon:** my dad is gonna get his later today, i’ll let you guys know how he reacts

 **Agatha:** the new sub is setting off alarm bells

I think maybe mi6 or something? 

**James:** i got that feeling too. Damn. 

Well, don’t panic people. The chat’s still secure and as long as we don’t say anything they’re not gonna know we’re involved

 **Shelbie:** exactly. 

**Wolf:** i got my stuff sent out and calls made

 **Eagle:** same here

 **Ben:** same

 **Snake:** me as well.

 **Smithers:** my calls are as well. I’ll let you know when we get the call

 **James:** here we go.

 **Pearl:** I’ve got the contingencies in place too. If blunt and jones don’t want to play ball we’re ready

 **James:** For Alex. 

15 15


	26. why are bad guys so predictable

“Well.” Blunt sat back, a tiny frown appearing before quickly smoothing out. “This is certainly a well-planned operation.” 

“Yes.” Mrs. Jones agreed. Privately, she saw the point of...whoever was making the demands. They’d tried to figure out the origins but had failed.

That was a surprise, and not a good one. Whoever this was was very good. 

“We can’t acquiesce, of course.” Blunt continued. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists, for one, and secondly, Alex is too valuable.” 

“Alex Rider was just shot outside of our headquarters.” Mrs. Jones reminded him. “And then kidnaped from the hospital he was supposed to be safe in.” 

“Yes, unfortunately.” Blunt said. “Send a response back and let them know we will not be giving in.” 

“Are you sure?” Mrs. Jones ventured. “Whoever these people are, they’re very good. They know about Alex, for one. Are you sure they don’t actually have the information?” 

“There’s files mentioning him. I’m sure they don’t have anything and we’ve checked. No breaches recently.” 

“Very well.” Mrs. Jones said, and went to give the response. 

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Pearl:** alright then. 

Mi6 wants to play hard we’ll fucking play hard. 

**James:** k-unit, derek, tell your contacts it’s time to start the leaks.

5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey DID NOT REALIZE i'd written blunt calling the group of teenagers terrorists WHOOPS but its in character tbh so...


	27. lets start a RIOT

_Jack_ ,

_MI6 is being stubborn and might contact you shortly. Rest assured, however, Alex will not be going out on another “mission” and that your citizenship status is not ever at risk again. If all else fails, we’ll “kidnap” both of you and fuck with MI6 in other ways than just internal politics. Just wanted to give you an update on everything._

_You’ve got the go ahead to tell Alex. Tell him the gadget master says hi._

_Also, MI6 can’t read these emails. They’re encrypted and if anyone but you tries to read them it’ll be gibberish. i kinda hijacked your camera for when these are read, sorry. It’s still secure. If you want you can put a cover over it when you want to. Just make sure its uncovered when you’re reading these_ _  
__\- P_

  
  


MP Drake read through the papers he had been sent with increasing horror and anger. MI6 was using one of Jon-Paul’s classmates? Even when he read through the part about Scorpia, his fury didn’t abate. 

If whoever this P was didn’t get MI6 under control, David _would_. 

Various other members of parliaments had similar reactions that day. Party alliances were thrown out and a small but powerful group started getting things together. 

They’d have to be quiet about it and they’d have to be swift. There was no telling what Blunt would do.

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Pearl:** watching the political landscape shift like this has been _glorious_

But some of them _really_ need better security, i had to encrypt two conversations and get a tail off of a third. 

**James:** is it what we expected? 

**Pearl:** oh yeah. I mean, mi6 is gonna try and shut it down once they realize but its gonna be more trouble than they realize. 

**James:** yay :)

 **Colin:** ...so i made a custom emoji if you want to add it? 

[fuckmi6.png]

 **Pearl:** _hell_ yes, it’s added

:fuckmi6: 16

“Alex!” Jack called the teen down from his room. “C’mere, I’ve got news.” 

“News?” Alex appeared at the top of the stairs, disheveled. A wave of fondness swept over the American. 

“Come’re. It’s good news.” Jack added, seeing the worry twist Alex’s face. She plopped down the papers in front of him as he sat. “This is _not_ courtesy of MI6, to be clear.” 

“You have full citizenship. Here, and the rest of the EU.” Alex breathed. “And - they’re working on telling MI6 to fuck off?” A hysterical laugh threatened to bubble out of the teen.

Jack was free. 

Jack was _free_.

Alex through his arms around her and cried from relief. 

David could tell at once that the group of MP’s were being stonewalled. The Lord Speaker was doing a very good job of it, too. MI6 had been very thorough. 

Oh, well. They’d just have to wait for the right opportunity, and hope that the mysterious P had planned for this. 

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Pearl:** so they got parliament stonewalled

Time for plan riot?

 **James:** Plan RIOT is a go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so if anyone made a fuckmi6 emoji i would actually die BUT also:
> 
> Alex does cry in the books. There's a scene from Crocodile tears where he cries while escaping the building on FIRE that comes to mind, there are most likely others I can't remember off the top of my head, and he breaks down in Scorpia Rising. For me, him just...breaking down from sheer relief at not being alone just makes sense. That's a thing that happens - sudden stressors in traumatic being removed can cause this kind of reaction. Anyways. Alex cries and it's in character for him to do so.


	28. RIOT - Rescue Inmate Outta Torture (courtesy of PastryFudger on discord)

_ Jack _ ,

_ We’re having to enact plan RIOT. MI6 is stonewalling (as expected, to be honest) and so we’re gonna have to take more drastic measures.  _

_ On an unrelated note, what’s your favorite pair of pajamas?  _

_ -P  _

“Alex!” Jack called. “Apparently plan RIOT is a go.” 

“I’ll pack a bag.” He said, grinning. 

“Alex!” James, one of Alex’s classmates, flagged him down just as he was leaving. “Hey, man, I got a question for you.” 

“Oh? What is it?” Alex said, noting at some point James had gained some muscle. When had that happened? 

“Well, yknow how we covered the Russian revolution recently? I was wondering if I could look at your notes on the riots...mine are kinda shitty.” 

Riots.

“Yeah, sure.” Alex gave a suspicious look to his classmate, who nodded almost imperceptibly. “Mine are back at the house, wanna swing by there?” 

“That’d be awesome.” James smiled. 

Damn, when had his  _ classmates _ become spies? 

There was a small SUV just down the street from his house. It wasn’t MI6 but it was clearly unfamiliar. And armored. 

“Who the hell do you know?” Alex said quietly as they passed it.

“A mutual friend or two of yours, actually.” James said, just as quietly. “I’ll explain more later. You got your stuff ready?” 

“In the bag, as instructed.” Alex and James entered. Pearl, another one of his classmates, nodded as they entered. 

“It’s clean.” They tossed it to him. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Jack was already in the car. “Let’s go.” 


	29. shit did we break him???

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Pearl:** I’m adding Alex in

_Alex Rider has joined._

**Alex Rider:** ...how?

 **James:** a lot of work and chance connections. 

**Wolf:** hi, cub!

 **Cub:** Wolf?!

Wait why am I cub now?

 **Pearl:** because I can.

7

_Jack Starbright has joined._

**Jack Starbright:** is pearl the mysterious P?

 **Pearl:** hi! And yes, that would be me. Welcome to Operation ARMh and RIOT (the h is silent).

 **Jack:** thank you so much. Not just the citizenship stuff. Getting alex out. Thank you. 

**Alex:** same from me. Even if im very worried about all this

 **Pearl:** Hey alex remember the banking leak a couple years back?

 **Alex:** yeah…

 **Pearl:** Hi. 

**Alex:** THAT WAS YOU?

 **James:** wait what happened to “keeping my job prospects”? 

**Pearl:** that is the one and only time I have lied about doing grey/blackhat before this. It wasn’t ever going to be a credit thing anyways so. 

Ha

Credit thing

 **James:** holy shit do you have any idea how much i admired whoever did that

 **Pearl:** …no, but thanks :) someone had to do it.

 **James:** well im so happy you did 

But anyways moving on because i can see you blushing

We’re headed to one of my dad’s safehouses

He has like...a lot. 

Its secure and easily defensible 

I think wolf about fell in love with it

 **Wolf:** your dad had an amazing safehouse and if he were gay i’d marry him. 

Even with him being former merc

 **James:** yknow. 

I never asked him if he was straight. I think my mom might have issue with it though. 

**Wolf:** awww :(

 **James:** but anyways, it’s a safehouse and alex there’s a decent bit of weaponry there so feel free to take your pick. We’re not mi6. We can all shoot a gun competently amongst other things

 **Eagle:** Kiara is quite the sniper :)

 **Kiara:** thanks, Eagle :) :heart:

 **Alex:** ...how many of you are involved in this? 

**James:** 12 classmates. 4 k-unit. Now you and jack. We’ll get tom in touch soon, but we figured since mi6 hadn’t contacted him yet that we’d wait it out. 

**Luisa:** no use drawing attention to him too early. 

**Alex:** that's smart.

 **Jane:** the dude raised to be a spy just called us smart. I could die happy. 

**Iyaana:** and alex i can see you starting to get upset about us being involved and firstly fuck you no. 

I saw the scorpia asshole shoot you. 

We’re involved, like it or not, and we’re not leaving just because you think it’s dangerous. We know. This isn’t something we’re doing for kicks. You needed a way out. We just happened to be in the right place to get that for you

 **James:** and hopefully after all this is over, you can go onto being a normal teenager and not worry about if someone’s gonna try and kill you during the day. 

**Colin:** when you think about it, us getting involved helps protect you. We’re not easy targets anymore and if mi6 tries to pull the lid over on us we’ll fucking kick them in the balls. 

**Brody:** all that. Also we have some pretty badass people helping

 **Smithers:** your classmates are right, alex. And what they can’t cover, K-Unit and I have covered. 

We’re getting you out. 

**Pearl:** ...he’s crying. did we - we broke him. 

Jack hugged Alex as he cried on her shoulder. She couldn’t imagine the amount of stress he was dealing with and then to have it all just taken off like this - for him to not be alone anymore...that had to be a huge relief. Pearl, sitting in the seat next to them, watched with worried eyes and hesitantly reached out a hand to touch Alex’s back. 

“Did we break him?” They whispered. “Shit that was not supposed to happen.” Alex caught his breath and sat up. 

“Thank you.” Alex, not meeting any of their eyes. 

“Fuck MI6.” Pearl said simply. “When the adults who can do something won’t do something, we fucking will. Revolutions have been started by people our age. Be glad we’re not starting a revolution.” 

Alex laughed and the tension broke.

“You guys would succeed though.” He agreed honestly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my favorite line of the entire fic is "and firstly fuck you no." 
> 
> And again - Alex cries. This is a situation where him crying is entirely believable to me. The other teenagers didn't expect it and are like "FUCK DID WE BREAK HIM" but no, he's just having a healthy/understandable reaction to a shit ton of things finally not being an issue anymore. He's not just alone with Jack anymore, he has people who have clearly been planning this and refuse to back down even before he can get a word in. So...yeah. Anyways.


	30. maybe just this once you should have done as asked

Blunt was stunned. Jones was stunned. Not one but 5 of their people had gone rouge. Jack and Alex had vanished. The Harris boy hadn’t given anything of use and they’d been forced to let him go.  
Who was behind this? And why? 

Blunt had the answer to the second one even if he didn’t want to admit it. 

The terms of the letter had been simple. 

_1\. Alex Rider is not to be sent out in any capacity by MI6 or any intelligence agencies unless it is of his FREE WILL (and not the bullshit of coercion). Unless he is completely free to decide and wants in himself, you will leave him alone._

_2\. Jack Starbright is granted UK and EU citizenship, effective immediately. If you don’t, we will. You don’t get to control Alex through her any more._

_3\. That’s it. No other terms. You leave Alex alone. We don’t tear down a shit ton of your stuff. You even get to keep your jobs (and we’re not entirely sure you should)!_

_Rest assured, we can and will follow through on our threats mentioned previously._

_\- Operarmh_

Jones severely regretted not forcing Blunt to agree. He would have had to take the hit to his pride, but he wouldn’t have had to deal with the headache the parliament thing had been, and they’d still know where Alex and Mrs. Starbright were.

If Mrs. Jones had known the truth at that moment of who “Operarmh” were, she wouldn’t have believed it. 

“Is that a _grenade launcher?_ ” Alex demanded on the tour of the place. 

“Yes, yes it is.” James said proudly. “That crater over there was a test of it. We got it on video.” 

“We’ll show you.” Pearl patted Alex on the shoulder. “We have more stuff for your pyromania to be excited by.” 

“I’m not a -” 

“You’re a bit of a pyromaniac Alex.” Jack said comfortingly. “It’s okay, we still love you.” 

“I did set a boat on fire while I was on it.” He finally gave in. 

“... _While you were on it_?” Jack pinned him with a look. 

“I was about to get off it!” He backtracked. Jack gave him a stern glare. “It won’t happen again.” 

“It had better not.” Jack growled. 

“Pyromaniac.” Kiara, trailing behind, agreed solemnly. For whatever reason, they’d decided to carry around a rifle on a strap that day. To be fair, most of the K-Unit were carrying their own weapons at that point and all the other teens had various weapons on their persons too. 

Through unspoken agreement, the group reconvened to eat lunch outside that day. It was a sunny, cloudless day and the wind was calm. 

For the first time in a while, Alex felt like he could actually relax.

Of course, MI6 had to fuck it up less than a week later. Thankfully the interruption was brief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you really should have just given in blunt. you really should.


	31. the invasion

**#operation-alex-rider-s-mental-health**

**Pearl:** _**@ARMH**_ everyone to the living room now. MI6 has a SAS unit headed our way. Just got the alert. 

**James:** how long until they get here

 **Pearl:** 30 minutes tops 

**James:** alright, i’ll be down in a second. 

18 people crowded into the living room a few minutes later. James had the grenade launcher slung across his chest, but he exchanged it for a rifle when Wolf arrived. 

“Alright. Kiara, you and Eagle know where you need to be. You have your coms?” James began.

Kiara held up the small earpiece and nodded. Eagle did likewise. 

“Awesome. Go.” The two left quickly, carrying their respective weapons. “Wolf - get your 8 ready, I’ll get mine. We’ve drilled this already. Don’t panic. Pearl, is everything set?” 

“As soon as I hit send, it won’t be undoable.” They confirmed and warned. James nodded. 

“Alright then. Let’s go.”

Alex and Jack (no-one dared split the two of them) followed James out while Wolf led the other half of who was left to their locations. 

10 minutes later, everyone was set up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clarify a few things (again): kiara and eagle are both taking the position of sniper if need be. eagle moreso than kiara but kiara got good enough to where they can be a backup. yes its fucked up but mi6 is also fucked and they're not going to let Alex get taken if they can help it.


	32. did we seriously just beat mi6?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning - Mrs. Jones misgenders literally all the nonbinary characters.

Mrs. Jones wasn’t sure what to expect when the group arrived at the large property, but a teenage girl on a computer at the gate wasn’t it. She was with 2 other people, and all three had weapons of some sort. 

“You’re Tulip Jones.” The girl said, standing up and closing the laptop. “My name is Kiara. We’ve been expecting you.” 

“What’s going on?” Mrs. Jones demanded. 

“It’s not fun being left in the dark is it?” Kiara said pleasantly. “We’re just making sure you don’t snatch Alex and Jack while we’re supposedly not watching. We need to have a chat.” 

“This is about Alex.” Mrs. Jones sighed. “He’s -” 

“Don’t say anything.” Kiara said. “We’ve been watching you. Nice try with the mental institution. The evidence of you planting that is going to go so well in the Daily Globe.” 

Mrs. Jones was off-kilter. This was not what she’d expected. The SAS men were shifting uncomfortably. They could probably take the kids but...they’d never had to kill kids before. 

“B-Unit, stay here. I’ll go in alone.” Jones made up her mind. 

“But ma’am -” 

“That’s an order.” She snapped. They subsided and she got out of the car. Her sidearm was removed and inspected before the teen handed it off to an adult Jones recognized. 

“Wolf.” Jones said heavily. 

“Jones.” the man said. “Don’t think knowing me is gonna help here. I’m here on Alex’s behalf.” 

“I suspected as much.” Jones followed them to a small area with a table. 

Alex sat at the table with a few more teens there as well. At least 6 teenagers had made an appearance so far. 

“Mrs. Jones.” He said. He didn’t look happy to see her. Mrs. Jones could understand that. 

“Alex.” She sat. “Who’re you’re friends?” 

“My friends.” He said simply. “If you’re here because supposedly I’ve been kidnapped, I’m shockingly not and you can go if that’s the case.” 

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple.” Jones began. “Your friends are about to cause political havoc.” 

“We know.” Kiara said. “Oh, hey dear, here’s your laptop back.” 

“Thanks, Kiara.” The purple-haired girl smiled. “Right. Political havoc. Yeah, we know. We’re counting on it, actually. We have at least half of parliament ready to oust you publicly and the other half is at least in agreement Alex should be free to choose.” 

“The ramifications of removing myself and Blunt are a little more than parliament,” Jones said. 

“Yeah, we know.” The girl sounded annoyed now. “Scorpia would love to try a powerplay. Unfortunately for them, we know that and we have contingencies in place. And your presence in or outside of MI6 doesn’t actually destroy the agency. You _think_ you’re that important but you _can_ be replaced.” 

“Look, I know you tried to help a little.” Alex said quietly. “But you didn’t say no. And you’re here trying to get me to come back to be used again. I’m done with it. I want out.” 

“If this goes public, you won’t get out. There will be interviews. Press conferences.” 

“Only for a bit.” Alex disagreed. “Eventually it dies down. I can deal with that. And besides, that’s a last resort. You can agree to the terms. Walk away. We tell people that and they back off. You keep your jobs.” 

“They won’t listen to you.” Jones said.

“They will.” The purple-haired girl jumped back in. “The fact you’ve fought us so hard on this means losing him is punishment enough. That’ll satisfy them. And any of them using it for political gains have been warned and I don’t make threats lightly.”

“This is Pearl, our partner.” Kiara said. Another girl, one Mrs. Jones recognized, appeared. “And I’m sure you remember Inaaya. They were there when Alex was shot right outside your headquarters.” 

Mrs. Jones held their glances a moment longer and looked away. 

She’d been beaten. 

“Alright.” She said. Alex slid a piece of paper across the table to her. It was the agreement from earlier. She signed it with her name, and with "on behalf of MI6" as well. 

“We’ll walk you back.” Wolf said. “And you can pretend this never happened and that you just left him alone.” 

“You’re on leave.” Mrs. Jones realized. “....Well planned.” She reluctantly admitted. Wolf smirked. 

As Mrs. Jones left, the rest of the group emerged from various locations. Eagle and Kiara set their rifles to the side. 

“Did we just win?” Jane said. “Did we really just beat MI6?” 

“We did.” Smithers confirmed. 

“Fuck yeah!” James whooped and the teens broke out into celebrations. Alex leaned into Jack with a smile. 

He was free. 


	33. epilouge - freedom (and a suprise guest)

It chafed at Blunt, but he was forced to give in. Jones didn’t say much, but there was a quiet relief at the lack of Alex turning up in the office. Ben Daniels wasn’t confirmed to be involved, none of them were, but Blunt suspected. There wasn’t anything he could do about it, however, so he had to let it be. 

A set of blue eyes had been watching the celebrations as they went on into the night. The celebratory firing of the grenade launcher had drawn an amused smile from the man watching. 

_Little Alex, you make some interesting friends_. 

He slipped away from the group but before he could entirely leave he stopped and turned. 

“Yassen.” Alex said conversationally. “I wondered.” 

“Why?” Yassen knew. 

“There wasn’t a body.” Alex smirked. “How’s the scar?” 

“Healing.” Yassen admitted. “I’m retired.” 

“Well, in that case,” Alex said, “want to join us?” 

Yassen considered it a moment. 

“Sure.” 

He followed Alex to the celebration and didn’t look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is the end. I'm gonna go back, add some notes, etc later but this is it. I hope it was enjoyable.
> 
> edit: alright. nodes have been added, gonna do one last check for some spelling stuff, but this is mostly cleaned up. At some point, Tom was also called into the camp and you can assume he and Alex are hanging out and getting caught up.  
> And why wouldn't I have Yassen come back he's the OG "Alex needs out" squad. And I will _not_ pass up the opportunity for "little Alex".
> 
> If you didn't figure it out, the OT3 is Pearl, Inaaya, and Kiara. I lowkey also ship Brody and Colin, and I suppose you could interpret Jane and James but i envisioned those as more platonic to be honest.


End file.
